What if I meet Harry Styles and don’t know what to say?

It’s the weird little things that are getting to me, that are forcing me to realize I will be leaving the country in just under three weeks.

I was watching the latest episode of American Horror Story: Freak Show and at the end, after the promo for the next episode, the dark, creepy voice-over announced that, “American Horror Story: Freak Show will return on Wednesday, January 7th.”

And I just thought: Wait, what?…Umm…I’ll be in London then. When the next episode airs, I will be living in a different country. 

Surprise bitch

And it’s not that I’m freaked out about missing the new episodes of my favorite TV shows, I promise (although don’t remind me about potentially missing the final season of Parks and Rec – HOW DOES TV WORK OVER THERE? I NEED MY FIX OF LESLIE KNOPE & WAFFLES – but I digress…) Now the distance between me and London is more countable, more reachable – next semester, or a couple months, or a couple weeks, those periods of time all feel so vague, moving either glacially or quickly, unbeknownst to me, but the next episode of something – I know what that feels like.

So it’s getting closer, and, as usual, I’m filled with a thunderstorm of excitement and anxiety. I’ve never been away from my family for that long. I’ve never lived in such a big city before. I’ve never been away from a full closet of clothes! (one suitcase? How do I fit 4 months of clothes into one suitcase?!)


Point being: the “What If’s” are running ever rampant through my head. Allow me to share with you a few of the less the-plane-will-crash-and-I-will-die-or-the-tube-will-crash-and-I-will-die-or-I-will-be-brutally-murdered-in-the-street-by-gypsies type ones.

  • What if I meet Harry Styles and don’t know what to say?
  • What if I meet Emma Watson and don’t know what to say?
  • What if I spend 4 months in London and DON’T meet either Harry Styles or Emma Watson?
  • What if I don’t understand soccer as well as I think I do and I accidentally do something wrong in a pub full of angry Brits?
  • What if I’m at something swanky and don’t want to embarrass myself and I accidentally ask where the bathroom is and someone furrows their brow and points me towards a door, and I go in to realize that bathroom means “room where there is a bath” not “the toilet” but want to play it cool and then have to pee in a bathtub so as not to embarrass myself further, even though doing so totally embarrasses myself further.
  • What if my boss asks me to make him tea and I totally botch it and he scoffs, “Bloody Americans!” and then I have singlehandedly jeopardized US-UK relations with a single cup of tea?
  • What if I point out to someone that “US-UK” looks like “U SUK” and then they deport me?
  • What if I get terribly lost and have to find my home just wandering around the city?

Okay, that last one is bound to happen, and I have to admit, I’m kind of excited for it.

But I think facing the rest of these totally plausible situations will grow me, along with the cornucopia of situations I must face that I have yet to even imagine. Ah, yes, the journey of self-discovery winds ever on and on!

But the exciting news is, you’ll get to hear about it all on a scheduled, weekly basis! The group hosting my study abroad, CAPA, has chosen me to be their official blogger for London! Every Friday, once I get over there, I will be posting over on Capaworld.capa.org (and I’ll post links to those blogs here, as well). The posts will be a bit more themed and travel-y, which means I’ll still be posting emotional anxiety rambles on this blog – so fear not!

It’ll be just like I never left, right?

Again, I am so grateful for all of the support and excitement I’ve received as I begin to embark on this exciting new chapter.

Talk soon,




2 thoughts on “What if I meet Harry Styles and don’t know what to say?

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